On the cool aspects of widowhood

Benefits to being a widow with a child.

No, actually it stinks.

But, in light of all those goddamned cartoons about how the problem is not the problem but the attitude toward the problem, I will now list some nifty things about having no husband because he died a horrible death after failing to get life insurance (even though he tried) and being left with a young child.

1.I can tell all my ex boyfriend stories with impunity

My husband and I didn’t marry until I was 39, and I was married before, so I have lots and lots of interesting stories. I can tell my daughter about the cool man who kissed me on top of the Eiffel Tower without hurting the feelings of her daddy, who was not that guy. Or I can tell her about the guy who cheated on me, without worrying about her dad being worried about it years later.

2.No arguments about how to raise/rear your child.

I get to make ALL the decisions. Such a time saver.

3.Travel is inexpensive.

We only need one hotel room, and when she gets bigger we’ll just ask for a cot.

4.No hostilities with the ex.

If anybody ever DOES ask me out, there will be no conflict with the ex husband. No worries that we’ll get back together. No worries that he’ll obstruct the relationship.

5.Lower income will make us eligible for Ivy League school subsidies.

Right now, Harvard will pay your tuition (if accepted) if your family income is less than 60K. No worries here with one income, although it might have been a challenge if I had a living, contributing husband.

6.It’s cooler to be widowed than divorced.

I still get sanctimonious clucking about being a single mother, but the shifty-eyed “you slut” stares turn to awe when I say my husband died when our child was five. Also, having been divorced, I know that a divorced woman is perceived as a threat by many married women, but a widow is not. (Don’t know why. Or, maybe, I was young and beautiful when I was divorced, and am old and scraggly now. Ah, maybe that one’s not the widow thing.)

So that’s it! I highly recommend having a good view of widowhood, because having a bad attitude will make people sneer at you that the problem is not that your husband died, but your attitude toward it.

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