Hey. I can wait.

What do Chinese train passengers, gay nightclub customers, third graders in New England, Amish Schoolchildren and women who want health care have in common?


Men feel entitled to kill them.


Oh go ahead.


Make it about gays. Or women who want abortions. Or schoolchildren. Or the Amish. Make it about guns. Or knives. Or homemade bombs. Say the problem is mental health. Or poverty. Or affluenza. Or celebrity.


You do that.


You do that, and fail to notice that it’s another man doing an act of violence against people.


And don’t be surprised at the next target.


If you don’t bring up that it is ANOTHER MAN doing this, you don’t really care. You don’t really care enough to call out the common factor in all acts of mass violence.


You either don’t care, or you are afraid.


You have every right to be afraid.


Who really wants to face that we live in a world where no matter how many men bomb, stab, or shoot people, the commonality is not seen?


Who wants to face that letting men, as a group, have a free pass on violence means rape being tacitly accepted even when two witness intervene as it happens? Or that this acceptance leads to my having to watch bullshit “workplace safety” videos that fail to mention the perp is always a guy and that homicide is the cause of workplace fatality at a higher rate for women than for men? Who really wants to make that connection?



If this were a Sherlock Holmes story, Sherlock would chide Watson by saying, “You see. But you do not observe.”

It’s high time we observed the pattern. It’s high time we called it out. If we don’t start calling it out, that it’s a man, AGAIN, the perps know that we are complicit. That you are complicit. You are helping men to know that men doing violence is actually OK.

We just have to decide whether this group of victims counts, or not.


Go ahead. Contribute to the fragmentation that perpetuates the idea that men doing violence is A-OK.

Go ahead and pretend that it’s not about male privilege, but about this that or the other issue. I’ll wait.


Because there are plenty of disenfranchised groups to be killed, group by group, while we wait to notice who’s doing it.


We just have to care who they do it to.


Maybe in my lifetime we’ll care enough.


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